Wednesday, January 9, 2013

News Flash: You are not even decent at what you do!

I'm way too annoyed to even blog cohesive thoughts right now.

Right now...I feel like the little engine that could, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." With only one stipulation...at some point, in the next 5 months - some snob will get a piece of my mind. It will be at that point that they wish they NEVER crossed my path. They will soon discover that you don't mess with a woman and her passion for teaching, her students, and her good will. Good luck to you, sir or madam - you are going to need it.

B.

Conferences Are Good For My Teaching Ego

I find it amusing that this is my most challenging year teaching, and yet, I still get great feedback from parents while conferencing about their children. Believe me, I, in no way, shape or form, think I am a perfect teacher or the best there is - I just enjoy knowing I am still doing my job well even with all the obstacles I've had to overcome this year. It means the world to know that my students enjoy school, even though I "run a tight ship".

In other news, as I was planning for the 2nd semester - I realized how quickly the rest of this year is going to go by! I am stoked :) I'm going to keep myself busy here, work hard, play hard, and sleep harder to pass the time.

Why am I watching Full House?

Why is Zack Morris' voice on a TurboTax commercial?

Why am I not getting ready for work...

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Honeymoon Period is Over!

So much has changed since moving out here - not to mention NEVER having the time to blog! However, it is my out...how I vent without really saying anything - putting words to "paper" takes a huge weight off my shoulders. Let me catch you up with a long story short:

After my "promotion" - I started a lot of curriculum development and research. I had next to NO time last year to do anything especially after my 60 mile drive every day and after leaving work around 7 pm every night...but, I managed to make a couple good friends - one's that I can trust, in work and outside of work. That made things bearable here, but it's not enough to keep me.

This year - true colors were revealed. I'm disappointed on so many levels, but am doing everything I can to be at the top of my game and do what I do best - teach. The school sent me to Europe this summer to study Shakespeare, which was amazing! They obviously see a lot in me and my dedication to teaching, which I hope to bring back to the east coast...

And so, I've said it...I revealed my plan. I want to be back home - I tried to make this place my home...but I realized I was crazy in even thinking I could make a place my home without my family and friends. Family and friends equal home, not where I am. It gets so unbelievably painful here at times...but Audrey gets me through it - and it's only 5 months before I'm back. It flies while teaching :)

I have so many good things going on in NJ - a promising job, my family, my friends, and good things ;)

For now, I'm here...working hard, teaching my kiddos, keeping my pup company (or maybe it's the other way around), and getting my head straight before coming home. I should also have some fun visitors to break up the 5 month wait - so, I'm stoked.

Sorry, Arizona - I thought I could do this, but as it turns out...family and friends conquer all things :)

I hope to blog...at least three times a week - hopefully my ventings will get good and entertain the masses :)

Goodnight!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Hard Work Pays Off

Hopefully, I'll start to have more time to to tell you what's going on in my wonderful desert life. Lately, I haven't had the time to even think about what's going on, let alone create another post. Since arriving here in Arizona, I've had 2 weeks of workshops, 1 week of orientation, a week of classroom setup and prep work, and 2 weeks of school! Needless to say, it's been pretty crazy - but I don't doubt for one minute this is where I am supposed to be.

Already, teaching has been more rewarding than I have ever expected it to be. To prove it, I have received countless hugs, 2 cherry poppers, 3 colored pictures, 1 photo of a student and I, and numerous conversations  with my students about things I never dreamed of having with 7 and 8 year olds. They've pinned me already...the 2 things I can't go without in the classroom - coffee and post-its. They're beginning to tell their parents - I see some Starbucks gift cards in my future!

Toot my own horn session...

Email from my boss to only 2 other teachers and I after only 1 week of teaching:

Hello Archway Teachers.
In our short time together, I’ve seen the three of you distinguish yourselves as thoughtful teachers who have a solid perspective for excellent education.  I feel you three, with help from me, can guide and lead other faculty towards  greater precision and execution of our educational mission.  I would like to designate you three, with your permission, as Lead teachers for K-1, 2-3, and 4-5 grades.  As Lead teachers you would give me genuine feedback about needs and concerns for your group, along with feedback about what good developments are taking place.   As time goes on you would be given more authority to direct your colleagues with my approval. 
Over the next few weeks I would like you to listen and collect data about your specific grade levels and give me feedback as you see fit.
Please let me know if you are willing to take on this role.  Thank you.

My reply? Uhhhh...Yup! Since then, that information has been released to faculty and families - a lot more weight, a lot more responsibility...but hard work certainly pays off!  Most nights I don't get home until 9/10pm, but I enjoy every moment of my hard sometimes stressful...who am I kidding...most of the time stressful job.  But it's all worth it. I've done something right to deserve all of this, and things are finally falling into place! The constant 44 sightings help too, as well as all the support from family and friends! I thank God every morning I wake up for all the opportunities he's given me, and every night I go to sleep for the lessons learned each day. I, by no means am perfect at what I do, nor will I ever be - but I work hard, I ask questions to understand it further, and I prove myself every day whether what I taught was effective or not.
I've made great friends already, met people who will forever be a part of my life and am just letting life run its course. Who knows what all of this will lead to - but I am certain that it will all be good things! I love my job, life is good! I miss my family and friends terribly - it's difficult to think about them without a tearful reaction, but if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be where I am today. I carry them in my heart everywhere I go. That doesn't make me miss them any less, but it definitely helps in a moment of need (for lack of a better term). It's also great to have a loving and supporting family here in AZ. I have so much fun with my aunt, uncle, and cousin - I also wouldn't be where I am today without them (not just because I'm living in their house but for supporting reasons as well)! LOL.

Thank you friends and family. I could never express to you how much everything you've done and still do means to me. I love you.

Stay tuned! Hopefully I'll be able to post more often...

B.


Monday, July 11, 2011

Good-byes Are Never Easy

I came to Arizona to teach, and within the 3 weeks of being hired, I don't think I really had the chance to think about how hard it would be to say good-bye to everything and everyone I know.  I don't know if that was a good or bad thing, because when I sit down to really think about it - no matter how hard I tried to prepare myself for it, I realized - good-byes are never easy.  It's impossible and insane to think I could completely anticipate that painstaking emptiness you get from missing someone so much before you really put that distance between you - and in my case, I've put 2,500 miles between me and many others that I love dearly - it kind leaves a huge hole in my heart!  And I'm homesick for all that hometown craziness every day. I know, I haven't even been here a week - but I've lived in Medford for 27 years of my life and all of those familiarities became more than comfortable, it evolved into quite a feat, stepping outside that comfort zone and immersing myself in a life I never really thought I'd have is an internal struggle - I know I'm doing what I need to do to better myself in my career, but am I strong enough to be away from all the repose I've grown accustom to?

...a week ago, I had to stop there. It was unbearable to write what I was feeling - especially coming from all the emotions of being so far away from home.  However, since then, I have really gotten a chance to sit and think about my purpose here - the fact that I'm here to bring back education and teaching the way it should be speaks volumes, not only for myself, but for the passion I have for this profession and the lives of the children I hope to change and improve. After sitting through workshops, learning this explicit curriculum I am going to be using over the next year - I couldn't help but think, this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now.  For once, after all my schooling - all the hardships of trying to find a job, the heartache it caused - witnessing wonderful teachers share the same passion I have and wanting it so badly made witnessing terrible teachers that much harder because I knew I deserved it way more than they did.  I couldn't understand, for the life of me, why I wasn't chosen for ANY of the jobs I had applied to over the years - but now I know. It was for this exact reason. It was because this is where I'm supposed to be! And believe me, all the 44's I've been seeing here over the past week and half! It's incredible...I know Nicky is here with me, every step of the way and I don't doubt for a minute that this was a collaborated God and Nick plan - this is what they had written for me, and it is something I couldn't - no matter how hard I might have fought it, turn down.

So here I am! I've been in Phoenix for a week and a half now...and I have to say, it is getting easier by the day (all the work and studying certainly helps)! I have the most amazing family here that I am staying with, and words can't even express my gratitude to them - if it weren't for them, this would be damn near impossible. To Aunt Neon, Uncle Joe, and JB - thank you. For being here, for making me laugh, for making this experience so much easier than I had really anticipated. I truly can't express to you in words how appreciative I am. So...let me buy dinner for once! :)

Things I enjoy:
Being here with family.
The people here are way nicer than Jersians - sorry guys, we know how we are!
The variations of Arizona license plates - they are astronomical in numbers!
Where I will be teaching - the school is amazing, and so are my "bosses".
I like dry heat way more than the Jersey humidity.
The fact that the highway will get you anywhere you need to go.
No license plates on the front of cars - I need to get mine off.
The fact that I am in a completely different place - somewhere new to explore and learn about every day.
The fact that this state has a plethora of cactus...and I can drive an hour north to stir up memories with the sweet smell of pine trees.
Monica, Eloy and Ethan are 5 hours west of here :)
Lin is an hour flight north.
I will get to experience LA within the next year (hopefully a few times).
I can finally go to Vegas!
I can finally visit Lin in CO - although moving closer shouldn't have determined that...

Things I miss:
Mom
Dad
Brooke
Thai
Nichole
Petey
Simon
Fletcher
Of course the rest of my wonderful friends and family (sorry, just mentioning the ones I see most)!
Dad's Morning Words of Wisdom (which he should just start texting to me...the 3 hour difference gives him more time to think of one).
Date Nights with Mom (Ames all the way)!

Silly times with Brooke (usually laughing at things Mom and Dad do).
Laughing and Thai and Brooke.
Stupidly ridiculous times with Nichole - the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for (and don't try it, she's mine)!
Working with Aunt Tracey - last year was fun!
Stretchies from Pete.
Licks from Simon.
The beach.
I know I'll miss the snow, cold and everything that goes with it.
Camp Creek Run and all my wonderful friends and kids there.
I miss Dad's Deer Park, the dogs' ridiculous barking and the funny way mom yells at them when they do it - like after 10 years they are going to stop!

I never stop missing any of that - but my hope, is to be busy enough and of course thrilled with the excitement of being somewhere new with loving family that it won't pain me as much - and eventually, I know it will all turn into something amazing that I am so fortunate to experience, when I know...not many others do.

With that being said, I really need to thank everyone for their support. Everyone back home, my family, my friends - I love you all so much and if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to do this. I can't even express in words how much my heart smiles (dramatic, I know) when I just think about you, let alone all the memories we have and how much every moment we've spent together means to me. I love you and miss you more than you could ever know.  And again, to my family here - I am fortunate to experience life with my Godmother, uncle and cousin while I embark on this crazy journey of teaching in a brand new, classical education school (may God give me the strength)! All the while, having the support from my wonderfully amazing parents, sister, brother-in-law, best friend and more back home! I honestly, couldn't ask for more right now!

I know this was all emotional - I had to get it out...the funny ones are yet to come. C'mon, you can't expect life to stop happening for this Jersey girl in the desert - it's just bound to get funnier, crazier and more ridiculous! :)

I'm going to try to post at least 1 a week. So...

Stay tuned!

B.